… Not knowing where he was going
Hebrews 11:8 “By faith, Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he left, not knowing where he was going.”
We haven’t had much happen over the last few days, and things have been relatively quiet. There have been some frustrating instances of communication failure, which have made it difficult to keep everyone updated. However, on a more hopeful note, there have also been some moments where the things we’ve been praying for have actually come to pass. Ricky’s remained stable, which is a blessing. He’s alert, showing his familiar stubbornness and spirit. He’s Ricky—unchanged in so many ways! That alone is truly amazing and a reminder of the strength he carries within him. Tonight, the medical team began applying a special patch behind his ear to help manage secretions, and we are hopeful and praying that this will be effective. If all goes well, we are expecting that the swallowing and speaking valve can be placed soon, which will be a big step forward.
Our kids continue to adjust to this new reality, a life that none of us imagined. Last night Autumn had a breakdown and cried on my shoulder. She feels deeply sad that her Uncle Ricky is still at UAB, still so far from home. She’s also struggling with the fact that I’m not around as much as she’s used to. Watching our little ones cry breaks my heart into a million pieces every time. The truth is, if I didn’t have work obligations, I would be at UAB right alongside Ricky all day, every day, until he’s discharged and back home with us.
I watched Addicts4Christ’s service online. Seeing that service stirred up a lot of emotions and made me miss my big brother even more. So many times over the years, I sat beside him in those meetings, quietly thanking God for every person in attendance, but especially for allowing me to have my brother right there with me. I am so grateful for those moments. I cherish the Sundays when Ricky would join us at church, where I could witness him praying and worshiping God. I miss those moments more than words can express. I miss him—his presence, his voice, his messages. I hold on tightly to the faith that will bring Ricky through this challenging time. I believe God will bring him back to those meetings and church services, standing strong again.
Faith is also what will one day bring Ricky out into the world to share his incredible story—a story filled with heartbreak and a broken home in childhood, but also with loving parents and children. Most importantly, it is Faith that will empower him to share God’s love, the friendship and grace of God, through his testimony. His story is powerful, and he WILL tell it one day. Though he may not fully know the path ahead, much like the scripture says, he will go forward because he is called to do so. His journey, marked by faith, hope, and perseverance, is just beginning to unfold.
Today while scrolling Facebook I saw a post that said, “Is faith only getting the answer that you want? We are called to have faith in God, not in Gods answer that we want. If yes He's still God. If no He's still God. Never on my time, always right on his time.”
Of course, the post instantly jumped out at me in a profound way. It also stirred a deep reflection within me, making me do a lot of thinking about faith and its true nature. It made me question how my faith might have been affected if we had lost Ricky. I want to say it wouldn’t have been affected at all, but it’s quite possible that it could have been shaken. Faith isn’t always about getting what you want or expect. Faith is about knowing that you serve a God who can and will perform the biggest of miracles—if you believe and if it aligns with His will. God remains God when He answers our prayers, but He is also God when He chooses not to give us what we ask for. There is always a divine purpose behind it all.
I remember vividly when Sav passed away. Angry wasn’t even the word to describe the whirlwind of emotions I felt. During that time, for the first time in my life, I questioned God… a lot. Among the many moments of doubt, one day I received a message from a girl I went to school with. During our conversation, she told me that her son hadn’t believed in God until after attending Sav’s service. Was that why she was taken from us? I don’t think so. I believe God knew even before she was born the exact moment when her last breath would happen. But I also truly believe that God used the pain experienced by everyone who was lucky enough to know our Sav, for His greater good. That’s exactly what He does—He uses His will for His good purposes.
Keep praying, keep fighting, and hold on to hope. We love you all deeply.
