Is there ice cream in Heaven??
Ricky is doing great! We see progress so often now that sometimes it’s almost hard to remember just where we were when this entire journey began.
Tonight, during my usual “bedtime” visit with him, a sudden wave of grief hit me like a heavy brick wall. I miss my brother deeply! I miss hearing his voice so much. Usually, I don’t get upset in front of him; I tend to hold it all in until the waves of tears have nowhere left to go but out. But tonight, I couldn’t stop them, no matter how hard I tried.
While Ricky is working so hard and making steady improvements in his therapy, I’ve been struggling on my own front, trying to get a mobility van to make things easier for him. He’s doing so much better at reaching his goals than I am at reaching mine. The challenge to find an affordable van that suits our needs has been exhausting. We’ve even resorted to what feels like a true “last resort” — selling some of Ricky’s vehicles — yet even that process isn’t going smoothly. At this point, I’m pretty sure the men at O’Reilly Auto Parts and Ricky’s best friend Ted and his family must think I’m a little bit crazy.
Tonight, though, all I really want is to hear my brother’s voice again. I want to hear him laugh with that insanely country laugh of his and tell me how stupid I am. During our usual nightly talk, the tears started streaming down my face. Ricky stared at me with that deep, knowing look, like he wanted to understand what was wrong. So, I told him. I told him how incredibly proud I am of him, and how much I just miss him – his hugs when we say goodbye, and the comfort of his presence. As I knelt down to say our nightly prayer, I pulled back his sheet to check on his feet, something I do every night. That turd looked at me, then at his leg, and slowly raised it sideways off the bed. In that moment, I could almost hear him saying, as he would if he could speak, “You idiot… remember where we started, remember how far we’ve come.” So, as I left the room, still crying, I carried those words in my heart, a reminder of hope and progress in our journey together.
I suddenly remembered a profound truth. This is not MY plan.. This is not MY timing. This is God’s divine orchestration. He’s the only one who has faithfully carried us and brought us to where we are today, despite all obstacles and uncertainties.
Today’s Bible verse is “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” - Matthew 11:28-30. Isn’t it truly amazing how… He always shows up, right on time, exactly when we need Him the most? It feels as though in those moments of struggle or doubt, His presence is undeniable. If He isn’t in control, then how could He have known that I’d be sitting here in this recliner, having a pity party with my ice cream tonight? And at the very second I search for the Bible Verse of the Day, the exact message I receive is one of comfort and rest? Coincidence? I think not. This reassurance reminds me that His guidance is constant, even in the smallest details of our lives.
We are just a few days past six months in this journey and He has been by our side the entire time, and He will be for years to come. I am often amazed at how the same God who created Heaven and Earth is the same, unchanged God, who guides us through our own journeys.
Please continue to pray for Ricky. Pray for comfort when the days are long for him, pray for God to continue his miracles in Ricky’s limbs, pray for Ricky’s voice, but most of all, thank Him for the miracles we’ve seen and for getting us to where we are.
